Thursday, November 03, 2005
i really don't like...
christmas time and new years day!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!! one of the many reasons i dislike these holidays is because i believe people get too wrapped up in the whole gift giving thing...which, don't get me wrong, i love to get gifts (who doesn't?) but come on!!! lets make it simple people!!! so anyway, this year will be even worse and stressful, at least it already started for me. You would think that because i will be going to mexico things would fun. NOOOOOO!!!! my sister is making sure of that. I know she is not doing it on purpose and i totally understand where she is coming from but...i should tell you what's going on shouldn't I? My parents, my older sister and myself will be spending christmas and new years in mexico. My younger sister called me yesterday to vent so that i could try to make her feel better but the more she talked the more upset I was getting!! she was telling me that it is so unfair for my mom to be going to mexico during the holidays. i tried to explain to her that my mommy is doing it for her own sanity. That she was doing it because she did not want to deal "con las malas caras de los maridos o las esposas" because they don't want be at our parents but feel they have to because of my brothers and sisters. That she was doing it because she did not want to be around "cuando le hable a L y L le tenga que decir 'no puedo ir mama porque mi marido no me deja". My mom is doing it because for once in her life she was being selfish and only thinking of herself!!! According to my sister that's what is upsetting her. WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?!??!? how dare she say something like that!!!! my mom has done nothing but be there for us!!! she has given up alot for us!!! she took care of us when daddy came home drunk on friday evening and lasted drunk until sunday evening!!! she was the one that constantly had to be arguing with my father to take us to the doctor, my dad would much rather spend the money on alcohol than take us to the doctor. My mommy took care of all 9 of us!!! YES NINE!!!!!! My mommy argued with my daddy to let us go to the PROM!!!...may not seem like much but when you are a teen it means the world to you. "HOW DARE YOU SAY THAT SHE IS BEING SELFISH!!!?!?!?!?" "SHE FUCKEN' DESERVES THIS!!!" my sister started crying at this point...yeah i told her all of that. I was angry!! after i calmed myself down, i focused on her and i asked few a few questions..."why exactly are you feeling this way?" "well why do you really think she is going to mexico?" "if it's not easy for you , do you think it's easy for a mother of nine children and 14 grandchildren?" "could we talk about your anger?" she goes on to tell me that she was angry because all my other brothers and sisters had families, she and A didn't, "how could mommy NOT think about THAT!?!?!" i go on to tell her that mommy did worry about that but that every year "tus hermanas se van con sus amigas y despues llegan aqui o llegan aqui y despues se van" which makes her feel like my sisters don't really want to be at the parents either. My sister response to that was "that not true, yes we do go to our friends but we know that mommy would be hurt if we spent those holidays anywhere else" DID YOU JUST HEAR YOURSELF!?!?!?!?!? AAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! "what you just said is what mommy feels!!! you are there for HER sake and NOT because YOU want to be there!!! she wants you to be there because you WANT to be there not because you think it's the right thing to do!!!" she was not getting it!!! AND i was getting angerier!!! At that point i decided to change directions..."so are you doing anything to deal with this anger?" "yeah, i'm talking to you?!?!?" AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!! "oooh, ok. are you doing anything fun this evening?" she told me she was taking some pottery classes and was really enjoying them. we started talking about that and about her job. She then thanked me for talking to her and for trying my best on making her understand. I told her "sis, i know that you're hurting and i wish i could do or say something to make all this go away but i can't, i don't know what else to tell you" she cried some more and thanked me again..."te veo el domingo?" she asked me "claro que si, dd, i love you"
Posted by sonrisa morena at 9:53 AM