Monday, November 14, 2005

"the conversation"

Mr. K and i had "the conversation"...yes THE CONVERSATION!!!! He called me sometime last week to ask how was i doing. i said i was doing fine.

"so do you want to talk about it"...IT so that's what we are calling it

"sure"...i said in a very nonchalant manner

"hmmm? so what did you want to do?"...damn it boy!!! you know what i want!!!

"well, I like you alot and i don't want to have a relationship with you based on only sex"...good sonrisa, very good

"well, here's the thing, i got alot on my plate, i mean i'm going to school and i working full-time, i do alot volunteer work at the hospital and i also have some sketches to work on, i need to do those before february"...ok

"aha?"...i know exactly where this is going but i want the mf to continue to suffer

"so, the thing is that i really like you too, alot, but i don't think i will be able to devote myself like you want me to and it wouldn't be fair to you"...hmm? not what i expected

"okay, well i don't want to be in a friend with privileges relationship and you're not willing to give me what i want so i guess there really isn't much as to talk about"...good sonrisa, very good

"well, that's not what i'm saying"...ha?! what?! que?! como?!

"okaaaay, so what are you saying?"...cause i'm freakin' confused!!!

"i don't want to have a friends with privileges relationship either, i just can't commit myself to you right now, at least not the way you want me to. i still want to have a some sort of relationship with you" this point hector and cracked chancla came to mind!!! hector because i was thinking "el guey bien que quiere manosear" and Cracked Chancla because "what's wrong with having a friend with privileges?"

"okay dude, not sure what you want from me but i've been pretty clear about what i want and you're not willing to do that so i think we should just leave it at that"...all sorts of emotions were running through me!!!

"sonrisa, i don't want to stop talking to you!! i like you alot!! but i'm not ready for a relationship and i know i'm being an asshole but i want us to maintain a relationship, not sure yet what kind but some kind of relationship"...aaaahhhh!!!

"well, once you figure it out give me a call!! i gotta go"...damn!! i should have just kept him for the sex!!!

So that was our conversation. He called me yesterday to ask how i was doing. told him i was doing fine and thanks for calling...i wasn't being cold or anything. we had casual conversation. don't know what's going to happen but as usual i will keep you posted.


Santiago said...

eso, sonrisa!!! way to stand your ground. i'm glad you did what you needed to do. you should have given him the we can still be friends bit. that would have been grand.

Hector said...

I'm breaking the Guy Code by getting in the way of Mr. K getting some, but after months of reading yoru blog your like a little cyber-sister and it wouldn't be right of me to let you go on like this. So I'm glad my words came to mind, like a lil Jimminy Cricket! jeje

hecho en chicago said...

I echo the sentiments by Santiago. You have cojones, like, well, like un hombre. Sorry. Had to go there. But yeah, kudos for being strong. That shows tons of character and self-respect. But then again, sex is sooooooo much fun.

I'd say keep talking to him, even hang out, because, well, everyone enjoys attention. But keep him at a distance......long distance.

DCNats said...

sonrisa, glad to see you stood up for yourself... make him do the calling and humiliate himself a few more times before you give him any repeat preformances.

sonrisa morena said...

santiago if he calls i will be sure to say something like "but that's what friends do"...hehehhe

hector,,aaahhh :-) thanks for thinking of me as your little cyber-sister, that's soo sweet.

hecho en chicago, thanks for your advice...hmmm? i will keep talking to him but i think i will wait for him to call me first...hehehehe

Dcn, humiliatation? interesante si si muy interesante....really i don't think i can do that but will keep it in mind...

thanks you guys for your input ...i thought it interesting that only guys seem to comment whenever i write about mr.k...i'm not complaining because you guys have been pretty good at the advice and who better then to ask about guy things than guys!! of course it helps that i dont have a face to the names therefore you guys can be brutally honest...hector, hehehehe. anywho, as usual i will keep you posted. thanks

Cracked Chancla said...

dang, i always get here late. i repeat there is nothing wrong with having a friend with privileges my only BUT is that it has to be what you (both) want. and you obviously want something serious with mr. k and well he says he does but he's got so much on his plate. and maybe i'm totally wrong by assuming this, but when someone really likes another person--no matter if its the man/woman, you make time for them. i get the sense that mr. k wanted the priveleged friendship but didn't have the courage to say so. stand your ground sonrisa for what you want and be strong, i have a feeling he's gonna start to test his boundries to see how good your word is. cause to some guys 'no' sometimes means 'yes', like when you have to slap their hand away more than once. so he might keep calling to see if your really serious about a 'relationship' without his commitment.

dr.v (Not a narcotic Pez dispenser) said...

i've been trying to follow this "K" issue..sorry i haven't commented sooner. I am proud of you...u stood ur ground...if u know what u want, don't settle for less. Yes u can have a "friend with privileges" but only if u want it and don't feel like u are compromising. But if that makes u feel cheap or uncomfortable about urself, don't do it.

yeah, make him work. i hate it when guys expect gals to do all the calling...if they truly care, they will call. u can tell how interested they are by letting them call. When someone isn't interested, he doesn't call or email you.

and that whole thing of him having too much on his plate:
excuses excuses excuses
he is either afraid of getting into a relationship right now
or an excuse to see if u will settle for less...settle for something NOT the relationship YOU want.
i agree with CC....if u truly like someone, YOU will make time. Hey, I'm a busy woman...I had to sacrifice alot during my medical training....but if someone call along that caught my attention..someone truly special...i was willing to make time....I would find SOME way to make time for him.
so he obviously isn't willing to make time right now.

*~Marie~* said... I am real behind on this issue....stupid Grad school!! Go you for being so strong. I have kinda done the friends with benefits things...not full benefits though...and at some of the individuals involved wnats more. You can only pretend that you are using them for so long! I say...if it is meant to be in a few months or will happen. We women spend too much time wanting things to will happen and like Dr. Vodka said...he would make time if he REALLY wanted it! So, high five on standing firm!