weekend update...

i had a nice weekend...blah blah blah. my fellow bloggers i don't know what's going on with me!!! i'm feeling...hmm? i don't even know how i'm feeling!! i'm not angry that's for sure and not irritated. i am feeling a bit down but i don't know why!! it's a beautiful day today, the sun is out, and i got a doze of my santis already so i just can't figure out what's going on with me. AND no i'm not pms-ing!!!! i've been like this since Friday. i was in such a mood to cry and i don't even know why. i watched the movie Finding Neverland. Ms. jillipooh told me that movie would be good for me to watch and have a good cry...boy was she right!! it was such a great movie. i was also thinking of Ktrion and L* all this weekend...it's funny how close i feel to some of you bloggers!! i'm so happy that all turned out so well!! i saw my fluffman last night, we had a nice time. so why am i feeling crappy? i feel sad, that's how i'm feeling, sad. i must be honest though and say that i have also been thinking of mr. rico suave...when will i stop worrying about that man?!?!?! and why does he affect me this much?!?!? hmmm? i think i have just realized why i'm feeling the way am...stupid mr. rico suave!!!!

you know as i was writing i remembered something about last night. it was pretty late, the fluffman and i were watching a movie...black and white movie, can't remember the name but it was a good movie... we didn't finish watching it because he got really sleepy so he turned off the t.v. then gave me a hug and a kiss good night. For awhile i was just watching him fall asleep and then i leaned over and kissed him. he smiles and tells me "that was sweet" and i tell him "you know i didn't realize how much i'm starting to miss you when you are not around and i don't know if i'm liking this". he then asks me "do you want to have this conversation..." i interrupted him and told him that i didn't want to talk about it, that i just wanted to feel. i liked that feeling of me missing him...the feeling of me wanting to see him and just be with him. needless to say, i had a difficult time falling alseep last night...mostly because my fluffman snores, just kidding!! i just wanted to break this seriousness which i shall now return to...so i kept thinking about how happy i am when i'm around fluffy but i can't help but feel like something is missing. what's wrong with me?!?!?! what else do i want?!?!? anywho, i'm just glad i fell alseep before i drove myself crazy!!

i want to be at home doing nothing!! just be a couch potatoe!!! oh yeah, AND i'm gaining weight!!! what the hell?!?!? i've been riding my bike!!! i'm not a couch potatoe all the time!!! hmm? maybe that's what's really bothering...my weight. gotta work on that. i also can't wait to see kachito!! i haven't seen him since saturday night!!! boooy is he going to be pissed off at me!!....yeah my mind is just going everywhere so i think i'm going to stop writing before i CONFESS something else!!! ;-)