Tuesday, August 09, 2005
relationships...
So i started writing about how i didn't want to be in a relationship and the reasons why i didn't want to be in a relationship. i ended up not finishing it so i decided to save it and continue it today BUT a friend of mine called me last night and we started talking about the subject and told me "you sound bitter!" so i decided to delete that blog and start all over again so here goes...BITTER ME?!?!?!?!? just because my heart got broken once and can't seem to get over it...it's been 5 years... doesn't make me bitter. does it? ok so maybe it does. i've dated a few guys but ALWAYS seem to find something wrong with them so i stop dating them. i just don't trust any guys anymore!!! yeah that does sound bitter...doesn't it? thanks alot my canadian friend for making me realize how bitter i am!!!! so anyway, i told him "well i vow to work on it so from here on i will try my best to not think negatively about a man that wants to date me. hmmm? i just thought about something...maybe me being picky means that i know what i want and don't want to waste anybody's time?" Well my canadian friends answer to that was that i wasn't being picky at all, i was "protecting" myself from possibly getting hurt again and that if i continue doing that i might just pass on an opportunity to be in a healthy relationship with a great guy. So i take care of myself, what's wrong with that? nobody else is going to!! AND why do i really want to be in a relationship when almost everybody i know is ALWAYS bitching about their partners...."hay quien la intiende?!?!, hay ya no lo aguanto!!!, sonrisa you have it so good!!" after hearing that, really why be in a relationship? okay sometimes i wish i had someone to come home to...actually now i have kachito so there i took care of that...or sometimes i wish i had someone to go see that romantic movie with and not leaving the theatre wanting to be with someone special because hey that special someone is with me...hmm? maybe i could sneak kachito in with me, ehhehehehe. hmmm? I AM BITTER!!!!! okay not all my friends are bitching about their partners. i actually have a few who are in decent respectable relationships but to be honest those are very few compared to the ones that are in an unhealthy relationship. i will keep my healthy relationshipped (so i made up this word) friends in mind when i date another person. I will take a deep breath and say "BITTERNESS salte de mi!!!" BITTERNESS salte de mi!!!" when that will happen not sure because i don't want to date for a while...gotta work on me accepting that i am bitter first..hehehehee
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4 comments:
Chica, find yourself a mega-papucho and forget about five-years ago. When I was much younger I was supposed to marry the love of my life and he left me a si como si. Not even a see you later. He put me out like left over chinese food. I was crushed and it took me a long time to get over it but for my own sanity I forced myself. You will move on to bigger and better things when you are ready to let it go.
i don't think you are bitter. you got hurt, you learned your lesson and you are not going to let it happen again. there is nothing wrong with raising your expectations of what the ideal man for you should be after something like that. but i insist you are not bitter.
thanks for the positive words :-) i do get scared easily when it comes to relationships and i know that sooner or later i will get over it. You know these are the moments in which i blame movies for half of the world being depressed...not that i'm depressed or as cracked chancla just assured me bitter ;-)...life doesn't always have a happy ending...but i promise that i will sure as hell try to get MY happy ending. thanks again :-)
sonrisa,
it took me about 2 years to get over an ex and it seemed like i'd never trust anyone again... then i met my wife. it was so hard to let go and put faith in somebody but had i not, i would have missed out on the best thing that ever happend to me... when you met someone new, make them earn your trust, but make your trust earnable... if that makes sense.
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