men are idiots!!!!

that's it!!!! i've decided to give up on men completely!!! COMPLETELY!!!

so this weekend started out being fun. i went to the parties with mr. Colombian...really i was having loads of fun. But then at the very last party that we went to i saw him making out with a girl!!! so okay we are not in a relationship but still i got really upset so i went home with a complete stranger!!! okay i didn't but that crossed my mind. anywho, i went home...took a cab...and the following morning mr. colombian calls me to make sure that i got home okay. i said "of course i did, i just saw you getting cozy with that girl so i thought we weren't going home together" he then proceeds by asking me to go over his place to have breakfast and adds "btw i invited the girl that i met last night" WHAT?!?!?!? again we have not established a romantic relationship but we do have some kind of relationship!!! so i asked "does this girl know that i'll be there?" and he says "no" WHAT?!?!?!?!? really i just hung up the phone at that point. He later calls me to apologize and says that he made a mistake and called the girl to cancel on her. he also tells me that he will come over to my place to cook breakfast for me. what do i do? i tell him "whatever!!" and hung up on him again. i was sooooo angry!!! mostly at myself for allowing this idiot to get to me. he later text messages me saying "i'm sorry for being a jerk". why oh why do i keep getting involved with jerks!!! i haven't responded to his text message.

it's friday...

yes it's friday!!! lets see what are my plans for this weekend? HALLOWEEN PARTIES!!!!!! i will be party hopping this weekend. not sure where the first 3 are but we...mr. colombian and i...will end up at ms. deiders annual halloween party!! she makes the best killer punch ever!!! i totally love her halloween parties!! i will dress up as a french maid and mr. colombian has been very secretive about his costumes...yes costumes because he plans to wear 3 different costumes!! the man is crazy!!!i'm sooo looking forward to this weekend.

oh yeah, i've started my new job!!!...'member i got hired part-time as a research assistant at a hospital. i totally love it!! my new co-workers are totally awsome!! i'm really excited!!! i will work on saturdays though which means my ass better stay at home on friday nights so i can get a good night's sleep!! i will be trained on how to draw blood and take the blood pressure. have i mentioned that i will be working with the latino diabetic community, well that's my new population. i have to admit that i was very nervous my first day because there is so much new terminology that i need to learn but by the time i was going home i had a huge smile on my face because i knew that i was going to be okay!! i love it! i'm so looking forward to it.

things with mr. colombian have been a bit odd...in a good way. we have been seeing each other almost everyday. he took me to this really nice and cozy italian restaurant on wednesday night. we had a very intense conversation, not about our relationship though, i think we are both trying to avoid that conversation, but about life and what makes us happy and what gets us upset. it was a nice and intense conversation. yeah, we are definetly getting along. he surprised me on tuesday night. i was not having a good day at all and so in order to relax myself i cook...yes i love to cook because it relaxes me. anyway, some how he got inside the building and i was all in my own little world when i hear a knock on the back door. i literally jumped!! it was a nice surprise to see him there!! i asked him how he got in and he says "i used my magic fingers" hmmmm? i wonder what else those magic fingers of his can do ;-) anywho, he asked if i knew he was coming over because i was cooking... i said "oh but of course!! i can sense anything you do!!" anywho, we had a nice dinner. you know what i totally like about mr. colombian? he keeps on insisting that i'm too thin and that i need to gain weight!!! what? i'm not at all skinny !!! i may be falling in love with the man!!...just for that reason alone..hehehehehe

well, as usually i will write about my weekend adventures. you bloggers have a good weekend and if you are going out to party...which i really hope you are...have fun and be careful!!

i couldn't stop crying...

last night i went over to see my mommy and we had a conversation that has left me numb.

so everybody thinks that they have the greatest mom in the world...if they don't they should think that. i know i do!! my mommy had 10 kids!! TEN!! and she knows each one of us so well!! we all have very different personalities yet she knew and knows exactly when something is bothering us. she knows how to talk to us, she knows what our favorite things, knows what to say to make us feel better. she claims that she has a bad memory yet she remembers EVERYTHING about each one of us like when we said our first word, our first step, the first time we talked back to her, our first day at school...she remembers EVERYTHING. she makes us our favorite food...if one of us is visiting her and we tell her that we are in the mood for tamales, pozole, or mole on our next visit she will have that for us!! she claims not to speak or understand english yet when my younger sister and i are having a conversation in english about planning on doing something that we know she would not approve she tell us "entendi todo lo que dijieron y si lo hacen se las van a ver conmigo!!" i love my mom!!! i love having converstions with her about "los viejos tiempos"...she has the most awsome stories!! or about how when daddy used to make her cry and now she is strong to defend herself and how daddy freaks out when she does it. i've always admired my mom for everything she has had to put up with my dad and with us.

i'm very very close to my mom. i consider her to be my best friend. growing up my sisters were very very mean to me, they allienated me and 'til this day i don't know why. i would go ask my mommy why my sisters would treat that way...they would completely ignore me, call me names, make fun of body (i've had big boobs since i was 11 years old and according to them my lips were to thick so they called me fish lips, they also made fun of my hips). they never wanted to go out to play with me and as we got older they never wanted to go out with me ('til this day they still don't like to go out with and i don't understand why). when i got kicked out of my house it was because my sisters told on me...i spent a weekend with the boyfriend (big huuuuuuge no no for us mexicans!!) anyway, because i felt like my sisters didn't love me or want me around i always went to my mom. i would tell her about boys i met, about my day in school, my day at work or if i needed to vent about anything i would do it with my mommy. she is such a great listener....of course i wouldn't and still dont' tell her everything because there are some things a daughter should never tell her mother. i developed a great relationship with my mom...my sisters then began saying that i was my mom's favorite!!...they still say that but really i don't care anymore!

Lately i have noticed that my mommy is getting old...her hands are wrinkled, her hair is no longer gray but white, she seems sooo much smaller now to me. she has a difficult time walking and carrying things around. she no longer is able to climb up the chair to put the tamales en la olla, now she asks one of us to do it. she is no longer able to go up and down the stairs without one of us helping her. as mentioned before, last night i was over at my parents and my mom mentioned my brother in law and how sometimes he wants to just give up. i told her that i believe that everybody has a purpose in this world how everybody needs to find that purpose. she then says "yo no se porque yo estoy aqui" and i tell her that she is here for us!! her nine kids...one of my sisters passed away at the age of 2...and go on by telling her that i don't know what my life would have been without her. she then gets really quiet and her eyes get really watery and says "ya quiero que te vayas acustumbrande a que yo no este aqui para siempre" at that point i started crying and hugged her and told her that the day she leaves me is the day i leave too. i didn't know what else to say. we have never talked about anything like this...i went home and i couldn't stop crying. i can't stop thinking about it...AND seriously i want to not think about anymore.

the missing bottle of tequila...

so it's almost friday and thank my frida for that!!! i need sleep!!! sleep i say!!

well my housewarming was nice. alot of people that i expected to come didn't make it and people that i didn't think were actually going to make it made it!! the party didn't end 'til 6 o'clock in the morning!! the first crowd started to come at around 7 and left at about 10:30. the second crowd came at around 10:30 and didn't leave at around 6!!! i had fun though. mr. colombian was there, the cop was there, and the 23 year old was there as well. i really like all these guys. the fabulous trio (minus one) were also there!! they stopped by later and left so much later!! chanclita also stopped by!!! yay!! it was nice to see her and mr. cc. She brought a beautiful martini glass...sorry you didn't win chanclita but you have to admit the orange one was gorgeous. There were three glasses in the contest and mr. p took the prize!!! what was the prize, you ask? well it was bottle of tequila...that got lost 'til yesterday that is!!! we couldn't find it!!! i thought mr. p had taken but he told me he didn't, that it had to be somewhere in my apartment. so last night i was putting something in the freezer and what do i find?!?!? the bottle of tequila!!! don't know how it got there but there it was!!! it was a great time!!

i haven't been getting much sleep lately. after everyone left on sunday morning i finally went to bed at 7 o'clock but my freakin' phone kept ringing!!! i finally turned it off!! then i keep on making plans to go out!! monday i went to go see my brother in law...don't want to talk about that now. afterwards i went to see mr. ray ray, he broke his ankle 'member, and i was there for quite some time. yesterday i went to go see a late movie, The Science of Sleep with Gael Garcia Bernal!!! the movie was great!!! i totally recommend it!!! i fell in love all over again with Gael Garcia!!! i totally adore that guy!! you MUST go watch it. Tonight i will be celebrating Mr. Ed's b-day and then i will be going to a puerto rican performance with mr. colombian!!! why oh why do i do this to myself!?!?! that was me being dramatic..hehehhehe

gggrrrrrr!!!

why do some people take themselves too fucken serious!!!! your shit smells just as bad as the rest of ours does!!!!! bastards!!!!

it's friday!!!!

so the weekend is finally here!!! i have to get ready for tomorrow, there is sooooo much i need to do. i will say that at least my apartment is already cleaned up so all i have to do tomorrow is cook!! AND i LOVE to cook!!!! the menu is all set. i will be going grocery shopping on the southside today after work. things are soooo much cheaper on the southside!!!

so i went out last night with the fabulous trio (minus one, mr. motorcylce is on a conference in florida). i had dinner with mr. hk at an indian restaurant...the food was sooooo yummy!! afterwards we met up with mr. bean, pokey reese and pokey reese's cousins (they are visiting from mexico) at ceasar's for some killer margaritas....aaawww yes good times, good times. we also went to spanish kareoke where i tried to sing but i couldn't stop laughing because mr. bean was being sooo silly!!

tuesday night i had the best time ever!!! i had dinner with mr. ed and mr. p. while we were having dinner mr. colombiano called me to see if i wanted to go the old town school of folk music because it was colombian night. i told him i had my friends over and he tells me "oh yeah, you did tell me that last night, i forgot. ok well i'll call you when i get back" a few seconds later my phone rings again, it was him again "hey, why don't you ask them if they want to come to the performance, i really do want you to see the performance" so we all went and i had the best time ever. the music was awsome, the dancers were great and the singing rocked!!! thanks mr. colombian for inviting!!! ooooh i almost forgot, so as soon as my friends were dropped off by mr. colombian asks me "so do you think they liked me?" i thought it was the cutest thing ever!! but i was also thinking "dude does it really matter, i mean you and i are just friends, right?" i was only thinking it though. hmmm? maybe i should have said it out loud. anywho, i had a good time.

well my fellow bloggers, have a good weekend!!!! i know i will...my friends are coming over this weekend to get drunk with me!!!!! which reminds me i must also get the prize when i go to the southside...must remember!!!

stuff...

my weekend was not exactly how i had planned it. turns out my friends husband broke his ankle and was taken to the emergency room, which lead him to some surgery and some massive amount of pain killers!!! i was bummed out that we didn't go to michigan but very happy that mr. ray ray accident wasn't worse. 'member i was suppose to go to michigan this past weekend with mr. and mrs. ray ray.

i still had a good weekend. i spent most of the weekend with mr. columbiano. he cooked breakfast for me on sunday morning and then watched movies for the rest the day. i went to see my brother-in-law at the hospital on monday afternoon. i felt as if i was visiting one of my clients because we talked about public aid...he got fired from his job so he no longer has insurance for him or his family!!!. i also talked to the nurse to make sure that he talked to the hospital's social worker so that he applied for SSDI and asked her about all the meds he is currently taking. i was with him for 4 hours that by the time i left i was soooo exhausted. i wanted to go visit my mommy but i called her up and told her that i was going home to my kachis because i was really tired. not sure when my brother-in-law will be getting out of the hospital or if he ever will...

i started getting ready for my party this saturday. i cleaned my apartment...mostly the kitchen and my closet. i have two huuuuuge bags of clothes and shoes that are ready to be dropped off the salvation army. i also put some curtains on...i personally think they look great. i'm tired right now but i have some freinds coming over for dinner tonight. which reminds me, i need to stop at the store to get lettuce and limes!!!

i couldn't sleep last night. i was thinking too much about mr. rico suave. yes he is back in the picture. he continues to be in an abusive relationship and i continue to get angry!!! having gone through an abusive relationship i understand to some degree why mr. rico suave continues to be with his partner but really there is just much a person can take. at least that's what happened to me. it got to the point where i told myself "i know you love yourself more than this!!!" and so i left. i was scared as hell when i finally did it but i did it. i keep telling people that if I did it anybody can because really i'm not that strong of a person. so if little ol' me did it so can mr. rico suave and so can my sister and so can...anybody really. i guess they will leave their abusers when they feel the time is right...for now i'm going to try to enjoy my time with mr. colombian.

i want this day to be over!!!!

i've had 3...yes THREE!!!!!!...suicidal calls today!!!! what the fuck is that about?!?!?!!? i blame it all on the weather!!!!

AND i just got a phone call from my sister telling me that my brother- in- law is back in the hospital!!!

hhhaaayyy!! i need a fucken drink!!!!

updates...

so i'm at work procrastinating big time on my notes!! i do not like writing notes!!! but i understand that i have to...just incase something happens to my client and somebody tries to blame me for something. anywho, i have sooo much crap to do but no energy to do so, here at work and at home. my place is a complete mess!!! i was trying on soooo many outfits before i left to michigan for the wedding on friday night...when i came back on sunday it looked like the closet had thrown up!!! i didn't realize how messy i had left my apartment. MUST clean my apartment TONIGHT!!! it's such a beautiful day though, maybe i'll take a walk down by the lake...NO!!! MUST clean apartment!!!! MUST.

so the wedding was nice. mr. jillipooh looked gorgeous!!! she looked like she had jumped out of the Bride's magazine. if she wouldn't have been getting married i would have been all over her ;-) hehehehee. anywho, the company, the food, the music, and the drinks were all great!! i had soooo much fun. i have to say that i once again noticed that i was one of the two minorities in the room. at one point, both mr. hk and i looked at each other without having to say anything but knowing exactly what we were thinking. seriously, though i'm already use to it so i don't get bothered as much anymore. i did however compare, in my mind, this wedding and the mexican wedding i went to last week. the mexican wedding was nice and fun but i didn't really enjoy myself as much as i did in ms. jillipoohs wedding. i mean i was with my peeps at the mexican wedding hmmm? wonder what that's about. MUST look into that...not now though. i don't want to think for a few days :-)

things with the 23 year old are simmering down, like i knew they would. mr. 23 y/o is still growing up and still has alot to experience....things that i have already experienced and don't want to go through again...i'm not willing to be a mentor. is that selfish? we still talk and hang out but really i think he should be out with people his own age...to live life!! i've suggested we go to places where people his age hang out but then I feel out of place once we get there. it's just wierd.

things with mr. colombiano are going better than what i thought they would. i will be going to my friends cabin this weekend and i've invited him to come with. however he has classes on saturdays so he's not sure if he will be able to make it...he's trying to get out of it though because he "really wants to be with me this weekend"...whatever dude!!! you just think you're going to get lucky!!!hmm? well if he goes, maybe he will...hehehehee. he has been really sweet. he came over when i sprained my ankle to "take care" of me. aaaawwww, how sweet is that? also on sunday when i came back from michigan he called to see if he could come over because he "really wanted to see me because he had missed me"....aaaaawwww, super sweet. i was on the phone with him 'til 1 in the morning last night. hmmm? yeah, he will definetly get lucky if he ends up coming with me this weekend!!! i love it when he tells me that i'm "hot!!"...i don't consider myself to be so when he tells me i get embarrassed.

my brother-in-law is doing much better but now he has to apply for ssdi because he no longer can work. he is not taking any of this too well. he's been moody and irritable to the point that my poor sister has to leave the house for a couple of hours just to get a break from him. oh, my poor sister.

i'll be having my annual housewarming party on the 14th!!! yay for me!!!! i'll be having a contest..who ever brings me the most creative drinking glass gets a huuuuge prize that will involve me ;-P!!!!! i love it!!! i'm a bit concerned about kachito though. he just does not like it when people are in the apartment and i don't want anybody torturing him like some people did on my b-day party. gotta think about that one. i'm still working on the menu, i have decided though that i will only have appetizers. not sure if i only want mexican appetizers or if i should also get american appetizers, you know like wings, and cheese sticks and stuff like that. hmm? gotta think about that one too.