friday!!!!!!!!!!

so it's friday and i'm bored out of my mind at work. i did all of the end of the month stuff and so now i have nothing to do. yeay!!! mr. B just came in to give me the cosmo magazine!!! i normally don't read that but hey i didn't have to buy it and it gives me something to read.

I'll be going to the parents this weekend. I've been trying to loose weight but every time i go over to the parents i tend to forget that i'm on a diet...really don't believe in diets when i go visit the parents, hehehehe. I can't help it!! i love my mommy's cooking!! no one makes arroz like she does!! so anyway, i'll be over there this weekend...it is five yet?

ooooh i ate too much...hehehehe, did i mention i was on a diet? i went to a puerto rican restuarant for lunch!! i love the jibaritos!! mmmm...so anyway, i still feel stuffed.

really i'm just typing whatever comes to mind just so that i look busy just incase the boss man walks over here. so i got a jean skirt this morning from ms. k...the skirt was too short for her...so yeay for me for being the typical short latina!!! cause it fits ME perfect.

oh gotta go a client just came in...

sharing....

Just wanted to share that my beach party was a success!!!! Everybody on the E-vite showed up!! we had hamburger, hot dogs, chicken, and pink lemonade (wink, wink). I love it when all my friends come together. After we got kicked out from the beach, some of us went back to my apartment to finish off the celebration by cutting my gorgeous strawberry cake!! Thanks for those who attended...santiago :-) dude it was really nice to see you!!!

On a much less enthusiastic note. I attended the National Conference on Latinos and AIDS. It was held here in Chicago on July 25th and 26th. I got to meet Erik Estrada, heard alot of latina speakers...POWER TO THEM!!!... I will however have to admit that i was dissappointed at the amount of people from chicago that attended the conference. There were about 250 people and more than half of them were from out of town!! "HELLOOOOO???? where are the latinos in chicago?!?!?!?!!?" was my question on monday morning. I was able to talk to the director of the conference and according to her "she did everything in her power to contact agencies in chicago". She told me that most of them were not returning her phone calls. I don't know what to think anymore, I was just dissappointed at that. aside from that the conference was very informative!!

I just got audited at my job and guess what?!! i did great!!!!!!!! ok. the auditor found a few mistakes but nothing that couldn't be fixed. So YEAY FOR ME!!!!!!!!!!

AND kachito is doing great in his new home!!!

NO POINT NO MORAL JUST THOUGHT I WOULD SHARE THIS WITH YOU ;-)

mi special day...

so today is my birthday...yeay for me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! not sure how i'm feeling about it. i usually don't make a deal because to me it's just another day but you know ya me estoy poniendo ruca o maybe ya estoy ruca...who knows? Anyway, i'm throwing myself a b-day party!!!!!!!! it's so exhausting to throw a party...que si tienes esto, que si tienes lo otro, y que no se te vaya olvidar esto, pero acuerdate que ellos no comen carne...TOO MUCH WORK!!!!!!!! but it's all worth it because there is nothing better than to see all my friends enjoying themselves!!! i've said it once and i will say it again "i have been blessed with wonderful friends!!". Last night i went out with two of my close friends...we went to a sushi bar in Andersonville, yummy yummy in my tummy!...and i was telling them that the older i get the more i seem to appreciate my friends. YA ESTOY RUCA, i've just decided. hmmm? interesante si si muy interesante. anyway, we started talking about how long we want to live. We all decided that as long as we can continue doing things by ourselves then we would cool. Getting old can be a scary thing...i think that's how i'm feeling right now. I'm getting scared...i'm not that old, im only 33 years but still...you know i'm not going to complain because i am very proud of how far i've gone, I have a roof over my head, i have food to eat, and i have a job. I have a wonderful family and loving friends. AND i just a little kitty for my birthday...kachito as in kachito de mi corazon. So happy birthday to me!!!!!!!!!!!!! and many many more!!!

my baby...

so yesterday was my baby's (my friend) birthday. i hadn't talk to him since February!! we used to be so close. we went to college together and became fast friends. after we graduated we lost contact and about three years we found ourselves again and have been unseparatable since...until this February that is. Anyway, i swallowed my pride and called him. You see i've learned that there are times in which i HAVE to do that. Two years ago a close friend of mine died of complications due to AIDS. we were not in good terms, we had gotten into an arguement and stopped talking to each other. After a while i heard he was not doing too well so i decided to give him a call. He sounded so bad...since i work with the HIV/AIDS population i kind of was aware how bad he was doing just by hearing him...so that same day i called all my other friends and told them that Tazman was not doing well and that we should all visit him. They were all suprised to hear that i had contacted Tazman, anyway they said they weren't going to be able to go until the weekend...this happened on a Thursday... I told them that i was going anyway because i felt he didn't have much more to time. I was having problems with my car and Tazman lived on the southside but i didn't care if my car died on my way over there...i live on the northside. i wanted to see Tazman!!! my car made it and as i walked in i was welcomed by Tazman's mom and she directed me to the living room. I was so shocked and horrified to what a saw on the couch. My Tazman was nothing but skin and bones....a skeleton!!! i leaned down and gave him a kiss on his forehead. I tried my best not to look frightened. we talked but he was not making any sense. so i just knodded my head and smiled when he did. his mom asked me to try feeding him because she tried earlier but he refused to eat. I took the bowl of orange juice and the spoon and told Tazman "dude tienes que comer algo, una cucharadita nadamas, andale no seas malito". he drank one spoon full of orange juice and then he pushed the bowl away from him. Within an hour our friend Mr. Motocycleta came in the living room and started asking how we were doing. i could tell that he too was trying his best to hide his shockness. You see Tazman used to be a BIG guy and to see him on the couch not being able to move and looking like a skeleton was really difficult to for us to see. Mr. Motocycleta and i stayed for a few more hours then said our goodbyes. We both promised to visit Tazman next week. i gave him a kiss on the forehead and told him i loved him. he just smiled. as soon as i walked out the house i broke down. Mr. Motocycleta hugged me tight and told me "sonrisa i am very proud of you!! you did really good in there. i always knew you were strong and you just proved me right!" i couldn't stop crying and when i finally did i kept telling Mr. Motocyleta that it wasn't fair!! i wanted to scream! "IT'S NOT FAIR!!!!"

Mr. Motocycleta and i left and decided to contact the rest of the gang to inform them of how bad Tazman was doing. The gang told us that they were going to try to make it this weekend. Mr. Motocycleta and decided to come back next Thursday. That day never came. You see I got a phone call at 3 o'clock on monday morning from Tazman's nephew. He told me that Tazman had just past away. i said thank you and hung up. i was numb, i couldn't move for what seemed to be hours. i finally went back to bed and cried myself to sleep. i went to work hoping to keep my mind busy but it backfired because all morning i kept going to the bathroom to cry. i call mr. motocycleta in between those crying spells. he was his usual self..."hey onda sonrisa?"...all that came out of my mouth was "Tazman". mr. motocycleta didn't need me to say anything else for him to know what was going on. he asked me "cuando paso?" "esta manana a las 3" "estas bien sonrisa" "i will be" "bueno tu le hablas a las girls y le hablo a los guys, que te parace?" "i don't know if i can do this" "sonrisa yo se que es dificil pero tenemos que hacerlo por Tazman" i began to cry again. i could here mr. motocycleta telling me to calm down and that all would be o.k. He sounded it so far away though. i calmed down and told him that it sounded like a good plan. He also suggested that i go home. i called the girls and then asked my supervisor if it was ok for me to go home. On my way home i got a phone call from Mr. Motocycleta telling me that all of the gang had taken the day off and were heading over to his house. I told him "ya voy para ya". All of us were quiet at first but then we started talking about the crazy things that Tazman had done and said. It has been one of the most memorable times i have spent with the gang. After Tazman's funeral we all went to dinner and decided right there and than that we all keep in touch and get together at least once a month.

Anyway, you never know what tomorrow will be like so i decided to swallow my pride. I called my baby because it was his birthday. i also i wanted to know how he was doing and i'm glad i did. We had a really good conversation about our relationship. We both knew that even though we hadn't talked for such a long time that we would still be there for each other. I told him i missed him and told me the same. we asked the usual "have you been out?" "yeah but to straight bars, i'm kind over the whole gay scene"...was my response..."i started dating again" "i'm happy for you sonrisa, so tell me more ...."