no answer...

This morning I woke up and went upstairs to my sister's. She wasn't there...her apartment was empty. I noticed that the flowers in the kitchen table were dead so I decided to throw them out but then I realized that the trash can had no bag so I went to the pantry to get a bag. As I was putting the bag on the trash can I realized how EMPTY my sister's home felt. I looked at where my brother-in-law sat all the time and I started to cry. I walked over to get the dead flowers to throw them away. As I poured the water down the sink, I had to grab the sink because at this point I was sobbing uncontrollably. I walked towards the dining room and the image of my brother- in -law with the oxygen tank sitting at the end of the table came to mind. I sat at the other end crying asking him "why did you have to leave us so soon? why?!?!?!" no answer...I got up and walked to the living room to open the shades so that some light could come in but only got as far as the chair next to the living room door. I sat there crying and the image of my brother-in-law lying down on the couch with the oxygen tank next to him came to mind. I asked him once again "why did you have to leave us soon? why?!?!?" no answer...

I started thinking about all the things that he will be missing out on...he already missed out on seeing my nephew Rocker graduate high school. Rocker will be going to UIC and he tells me he is scared...I can hear my brother-in-law telling Rocker "mi'jo usted no tengo miedo, usted hechele ganas y si no la hace pues si quiera el intento hizo". He was so good to his kids, so good to my sister. Why did have to leave us so soon?...