This past December she got a hold of someone who knows me and that person gave her my cell number without asking me if it was okay!! I must admit that i was angry but at the same time happy to hear from her. Has her situation changed any? NO!!! she left to another state with an abusive man...she now lives in a shelter with her four kids. when we talked she asked me if i still lived on the north side. i said "no, i moved back to little village" she asked me if i lived alone or if i had found that special person. I said "no, i live alone with my cat, in a three bedroom apartment, my cat has his own room" i joked around. AND then she tells me "i'm having problems with the guy i'm with, he hits me and i'm scared". I was not going to say it!!! she continues "i have already started looking for shelters over here but i think i'm going back to chicago" AAAAHHH i'm not going to say it!!! "can you help me out with some shelters?" she asks. I said "hmm? i'm not familiar with anything over where you're at but i'll see what i can do". what she really wanted me to say was "why don't you come and stay with me" but i just couldn't!!! that was the last time i talked her or had any type of communication. 'Til this weekend...
In this e-mail she writes about how she misses me. she goes on to talk about that so called "unforgettable night", my smile, my warmth and blah blah blah. she goes on by telling me that she is straight but is willing to be with me and ONLY me because "yes i love you!! there i've said it! I LOVE YOU!" Do i ever think about her because she thinks about me ALL the time. and about her wondering why i turned my back on her when she most needed me. AND she really wants me to answer all these questions.
I responded by telling her that i had turned my back on her because i was exhausted!! I told her that i was very happy to hear from her again but upset and angry that she once again, after all these years, found herself in the same situation over and over and over again with different men. AND that this time she even moved to another state in which she knew she was not going to have any support system!! I just keep thinking about her kids!! Those kids...why does she keep doing this to them!! She responded back by saying that she was disappointed with my response and to look into my heart and give her another chance. I responded by saying "i can't, that is all i'm saying...i just can't".
I know i'm being mean but honestly i really really can't do it anymore!!