The following is a conversation that i had with my sister Dork regarding a guy i met when i first moved to the village. This guys has been nice and sweet to me. We have talked three times and i've gone to see him play soccer once. After the soccer game he walked me home and asked me to be his girlfriend!!!! WHAT???!!!? i just met you?!!?!
Sonrisa Morena: this is my thing....i don't want to go out with him because first of all its scary to think of me being a relationship...just incase you hadn't noticed i'm terrified of them!!!! i feel that if i do end up dating him this will turn into a very very serious one. AND if i do end up dating him its because i know exactly where he lives and he knows people in the neighborhood so its not like he is a complete stranger. however, i also think that he is waaaay to close for me to be dating...for crying out loud he lives right across the street!!!
Dork: LOL...
Dork: okay....
Sonrisa Morena: and then i think...what if this my last chance? and then i think he is undocumented and he is only wanting to get that from me
Dork: umm...
Sonrisa Morena: i think too much!!!
Dork: and not mention that you guy's are probably from oppisite ends of the world...
Sonrisa Morena: yes!!!!
Dork: yeah you are both mexican...
Dork: but seriouly dork....
Sonrisa Morena: dork he doesn't speak not word of english!!!
Sonrisa Morena: my world is completely different from his!!!! come on!!! i bet if it were up to him el ya me hubiera robado!!!
Dork: you know all this is gonna come and slap you across the face...
Sonrisa Morena: i know!!!! but aren't i being discriminatory
Dork: tu con tu educacion y pues apenas si fui a la escuela y tus amigos me ven como menos...
Sonrisa Morena: yes!!!!!!!
Sonrisa Morena: holy crap!!!!!
Sonrisa Morena: i've been stressing out all this week over this!!!!
Dork: no dork you are just being realistic....
Sonrisa Morena: i wanted to talk to you about this!!!!
Sonrisa Morena: you really do understand!!!!
Dork: Like you told me when I was with Mr. Kos...if you are gonna go for it you have to have a thick skin and not let it get to you otherwise it will never work.
Sonrisa Morena: damn, i told you that?!?!??!?!
Dork: yup...
Sonrisa Morena: i don't think i will be able to have a thick skin with him...
Dork: that's what I am saying..
Dork: first of all.....
Sonrisa Morena: i've thought about taking him out with my friends and family and well it just doesn't look good
Dork: ahy.....dork you like to complicate your life.
Sonrisa Morena: seriously, like i was telling second mom, el de verdad es un rancherito
Sonrisa Morena: tell me how im complicating my life? if i haven't done anything yet...i told him that it would be best for us to get to know each other more when he asked me to be his girlfriend.
Dork: you know what I am imagining...if you go for this....
Dork: I am imagining you with your long hair again....with dresses and going to church, does that sound familiar...
Dork: oh yeah and the part of being unhappy becasue you are not being you...
Sonrisa Morena: damn!!! you be one harsh gal!!!
Dork: no dork...am just telling you the truth...
Sonrisa Morena: AND don't you think that thats why im terrified of relationships
Sonrisa Morena: with anybody not just paisitas...i think like that even with girls i've gone out with
Dork: I dunno...
Sonrisa Morena: and thats why i'm going to be alone
Sonrisa Morena: FOREVER!!!! FOR EEEEEVVVVEEERRRRRR
Dork: you get lost...
Dork: that's the problem...
Sonrisa Morena: i do!!! i really do
Dork: so then work on that...
Sonrisa Morena: i know that about me!!!
Sonrisa Morena: i've been trying too
Dork: you are like a chamelion...
Sonrisa Morena: i think i've gotten a little better
Sonrisa Morena: at least i hope i have
Sonrisa Morena: so back to your 20 pounds...
Sonrisa Morena: whats going on with you?
Dork: nothing...there is no time for anything to be going on with me
My fellow bloggers what the hell is going on with me?!?!??!?! I don't think I'm better than this guy...do i?!?!?!
Thursday, September 27, 2007
Tuesday, September 25, 2007
dont be offended....
I had dinner with the HOLA gang on sunday. I love the gang but lately its been like a chore to go out with them. someone is ALWAYS late!!! someone ALWAYS doesn't have enough for dinner...well this wasn't the case this time...someone doesn't show up or forgets to tell one of us that they will be bringing some one so the waitress or waiter gets upset at us because they have to rearrange the table to make room for the extra person. Anywho, i was sooo frustrated on sunday that as soon as i walked into Iberico...spanish restaurant...i wanted to walk back out!!!
i was having such a good day too. i went to a chicago fire...soccer...game right before i met the gang. it was an awesome game too!!! i didn't understand a thing that was going on but just being in the almost brand new Toyota Park with all those nice looking soccer players and crazy fans made it worth while. I also thought of Joel...yes i thought of you...because chicago fire played against DC.
So anywho, we all got sitted and we talked about what was going on with our lives. ms. j and mr. motorcycles are both back in school and i'm going to apply in november. mr. cop is also in school and is thinking of going Federal...what ever that means..and looking into moving to Texas some time in the future. The conversation was good...then i said something that really upset ms. j. the rest of the gang didnt seem to even have noticed but i noticed that it really upset ms. j and with good reason. Here's the the part where i say "please dont get offended".
Ms. j mentioned something about her sending an e-mail from home so mr. motorcycle asked if she got a new computer. she says " my mom got me a lab top when i returned to school" and i said "wow, must be nice to be white"...i was just kidding though!!! (btw, just in case you hadn't figured it out ms. j is white) okay a little bit of me envies that part of her. she got really upset so she "left to get cash from the ATM". when she returned she said "Ms. Cali says hello" which of course was obvious to me that she had called ms. Cali...her best friend...to vent on what i had just said.
why am i sharing this with you? well because i feel guilty!!! but not for the reasons you may think but because i actually did mean that comment..."must be nice to be white". i'm sorry that i hurt Ms. j's feelings but i can't help feeling that way. i have often wondered what it would be like to be white!!! not that i'm not proud of being a mexican. i love my heritage!! i really do!!! i love the person that i am...well actually i'm a bit disappointed at what i discovered during this dinner about myself but is it really my fault that i feel this way? i consider myself very lucky to have the privileges i have sometimes, though, i get tired and frustrated at all the unfairness...for a lack of a better word.
Ms. j is a great person and she has worked hard and continues to work hard to get the stuff she wants but she has gotten alot of support. I remember when i first met her she told me "my dad got me a car for my graduation" WHAT?!?!? i know its not her fault but like i mentioned before i can't help but be a little envious. all i got when i graduated from college was "una hoya de frijoles". i remember when i told my dad that i was going back to college and his response was "nadamas vas a perder tu tiempo porque eres bien pendeja!!" so considering that response i'm glad i at least got that "hoya de frijoles."
other thoughts also came to mind as i sat in the restaurant...not wanting to be there but being polite. i remember ms. j calling me her little "ESL friend". I let that go though because i knew that she was messing around and that she really valued our friendship...at least i hope that was the case. or when i was waiting for the train once and this white man came up to me asking for directions. he tells me "wow, your English is great!! you have no accent!!" WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?!? why the hell would i have a fucken accent asshole?!!? thats what i really wanted to say but didn't. i only said "thank you" and walked away angry!!! or the time that my white fifth grade teacher started calling me "maria" because she couldn't pronounce my name!!! maria isn't even close to what my real name is!!! or when ever i start a new job and a white co-worker says "oh, now i have someone to practice the little spanish that i know". i had to go to school and learn english so you go do the same ASSHOLE!!!! thats what i want to say but i only say "sure why not". ALL of these things i find offensive!!!!
by the time dinner was over i was sooooo angry and frustrated i just wanted to go home and chill. instead mr. rico suave and i ended up going over to mr. motorcycle's to watch the Bears loose...BIG TIME!!! what the hell is up with the bears this season!?!!? but this is another post...
i just want to say that i'm really sorry ms. j that i offended you....i really dont know what else to say though.
i was having such a good day too. i went to a chicago fire...soccer...game right before i met the gang. it was an awesome game too!!! i didn't understand a thing that was going on but just being in the almost brand new Toyota Park with all those nice looking soccer players and crazy fans made it worth while. I also thought of Joel...yes i thought of you...because chicago fire played against DC.
So anywho, we all got sitted and we talked about what was going on with our lives. ms. j and mr. motorcycles are both back in school and i'm going to apply in november. mr. cop is also in school and is thinking of going Federal...what ever that means..and looking into moving to Texas some time in the future. The conversation was good...then i said something that really upset ms. j. the rest of the gang didnt seem to even have noticed but i noticed that it really upset ms. j and with good reason. Here's the the part where i say "please dont get offended".
Ms. j mentioned something about her sending an e-mail from home so mr. motorcycle asked if she got a new computer. she says " my mom got me a lab top when i returned to school" and i said "wow, must be nice to be white"...i was just kidding though!!! (btw, just in case you hadn't figured it out ms. j is white) okay a little bit of me envies that part of her. she got really upset so she "left to get cash from the ATM". when she returned she said "Ms. Cali says hello" which of course was obvious to me that she had called ms. Cali...her best friend...to vent on what i had just said.
why am i sharing this with you? well because i feel guilty!!! but not for the reasons you may think but because i actually did mean that comment..."must be nice to be white". i'm sorry that i hurt Ms. j's feelings but i can't help feeling that way. i have often wondered what it would be like to be white!!! not that i'm not proud of being a mexican. i love my heritage!! i really do!!! i love the person that i am...well actually i'm a bit disappointed at what i discovered during this dinner about myself but is it really my fault that i feel this way? i consider myself very lucky to have the privileges i have sometimes, though, i get tired and frustrated at all the unfairness...for a lack of a better word.
Ms. j is a great person and she has worked hard and continues to work hard to get the stuff she wants but she has gotten alot of support. I remember when i first met her she told me "my dad got me a car for my graduation" WHAT?!?!? i know its not her fault but like i mentioned before i can't help but be a little envious. all i got when i graduated from college was "una hoya de frijoles". i remember when i told my dad that i was going back to college and his response was "nadamas vas a perder tu tiempo porque eres bien pendeja!!" so considering that response i'm glad i at least got that "hoya de frijoles."
other thoughts also came to mind as i sat in the restaurant...not wanting to be there but being polite. i remember ms. j calling me her little "ESL friend". I let that go though because i knew that she was messing around and that she really valued our friendship...at least i hope that was the case. or when i was waiting for the train once and this white man came up to me asking for directions. he tells me "wow, your English is great!! you have no accent!!" WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?!? why the hell would i have a fucken accent asshole?!!? thats what i really wanted to say but didn't. i only said "thank you" and walked away angry!!! or the time that my white fifth grade teacher started calling me "maria" because she couldn't pronounce my name!!! maria isn't even close to what my real name is!!! or when ever i start a new job and a white co-worker says "oh, now i have someone to practice the little spanish that i know". i had to go to school and learn english so you go do the same ASSHOLE!!!! thats what i want to say but i only say "sure why not". ALL of these things i find offensive!!!!
by the time dinner was over i was sooooo angry and frustrated i just wanted to go home and chill. instead mr. rico suave and i ended up going over to mr. motorcycle's to watch the Bears loose...BIG TIME!!! what the hell is up with the bears this season!?!!? but this is another post...
i just want to say that i'm really sorry ms. j that i offended you....i really dont know what else to say though.
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
hola...
i know i know its been a while. i've been busy with my two jobs....came to realize i really do need a car!!! i'm still working with kids and i'm still at Rush Hospital working with adults. Lately, though i've been wanting to quit both jobs. I'm tired of being a social worker. i don't want to do this anymore, i'm constantly trying to fix somebody's problem. maybe i'm burning out. maybe i just need a break. i was seriously thinking of quitting both jobs and applying at target the other day. i'm tired people!!!! anywho, enough of that.
I went to the mexican independence parade this sunday. i haven't been to that in yeeeeears. probably 15 years!!!! it was fun, i guess. it was nice being silly with all the little babies around me. i left before the parade was over. i had to go pee, hehehehehe. anywho, the only reason i went was because mr. rico suave wanted to go. glad i went, otherwise i wouldn't have met Saul and Armando...the little babies i was being silly with.
have i mentioned that i want a baby. i want a baby!!!!! i'm looking for donors. I talked to mr. motorcycle the other day about this. he started laughing when i told him "all i need is 15 minutes of your time, well it really depends on you but really it should be over in 5". he couldn't stop laughing "pinche sonrisa!!!" is all he kept saying. i was serious though!!! i really want to be a mommy!!! i think i would be great mommy!!! okay let me stop before i start crying.
nothing major going on right now in life. hmmm? my nephew Rocker started college!! omg!!!! i couldn't stop crying the day before. i just cant believe that 18 years ago i was the first one to change his diaper when he was brought home and now he is in college!!! his dad would have been soooo proud!!!
okay, lets talk about happy things!!! i got my bike sit stolen....IN FRONT OF THE POLICE STATION!!!! so this isn't happy but its kind of funny and sad at the same time. so yeah, i went to pick up my cases at the police station on california and i figured it was a nice day so i rode my bike. i was only at the station for 10 minutes, maybe less. just went upstairs, said my hello's, grabbed my cases and went back downstairs....less then ten minutes. as i walked toward my bike i realized my sit was gone!!!! BASTARDS!!!! what is the this world coming to!!!! so anywho, i tried riding without a sit but my legs got too tired. i called my daddy to go pick me up and he just laughed. he tells me "alguien lo necesitaba mas que tu". what ever daddy!!! then i told him that last time my bike got stolen but they left me the sit and he tells me "por eso lo hicieron entonces. porque sabian que tenias un extra sit" WHAT EVER DADDY!!!! i'm just outraged that they did it in front of the police station!!!!! GGGGGRRRRR!!!!
so thats my story and i'm stickin' to it!!!!
laters my fellow bloggers!!!
I went to the mexican independence parade this sunday. i haven't been to that in yeeeeears. probably 15 years!!!! it was fun, i guess. it was nice being silly with all the little babies around me. i left before the parade was over. i had to go pee, hehehehehe. anywho, the only reason i went was because mr. rico suave wanted to go. glad i went, otherwise i wouldn't have met Saul and Armando...the little babies i was being silly with.
have i mentioned that i want a baby. i want a baby!!!!! i'm looking for donors. I talked to mr. motorcycle the other day about this. he started laughing when i told him "all i need is 15 minutes of your time, well it really depends on you but really it should be over in 5". he couldn't stop laughing "pinche sonrisa!!!" is all he kept saying. i was serious though!!! i really want to be a mommy!!! i think i would be great mommy!!! okay let me stop before i start crying.
nothing major going on right now in life. hmmm? my nephew Rocker started college!! omg!!!! i couldn't stop crying the day before. i just cant believe that 18 years ago i was the first one to change his diaper when he was brought home and now he is in college!!! his dad would have been soooo proud!!!
okay, lets talk about happy things!!! i got my bike sit stolen....IN FRONT OF THE POLICE STATION!!!! so this isn't happy but its kind of funny and sad at the same time. so yeah, i went to pick up my cases at the police station on california and i figured it was a nice day so i rode my bike. i was only at the station for 10 minutes, maybe less. just went upstairs, said my hello's, grabbed my cases and went back downstairs....less then ten minutes. as i walked toward my bike i realized my sit was gone!!!! BASTARDS!!!! what is the this world coming to!!!! so anywho, i tried riding without a sit but my legs got too tired. i called my daddy to go pick me up and he just laughed. he tells me "alguien lo necesitaba mas que tu". what ever daddy!!! then i told him that last time my bike got stolen but they left me the sit and he tells me "por eso lo hicieron entonces. porque sabian que tenias un extra sit" WHAT EVER DADDY!!!! i'm just outraged that they did it in front of the police station!!!!! GGGGGRRRRR!!!!
so thats my story and i'm stickin' to it!!!!
laters my fellow bloggers!!!
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