kareoke....

I had the best time ever last night!!!! I went to china town, had me some delicious chinese food then headed over to the kareoke place!!! i went with mr. HK, Mr. Chef, Ms. Windy. I met Ms Windy last week and i had mentioned to her that Mr. HK kept talking about going to a kareaoke place in china town but we never got around to it. Ms. Windy took charge and set everything up for last night!!! Mr. HK and Mr. Windy are Chinese and by the looks of it they are regulars at this place.

So after dinner we went to what i thought was a restaurant but apparently it wasn't. Mr. HK and Ms Windy spoke to the bartender...don't know what they were saying because they were speaking chinese but it must have been something about either wanting to stay at the big bar or wanting a room because he then led us to a room. The place had alot of these little rooms. Groups of people rent them for a couple of hours and sing all night!! I liked it because it was just the four of us which made it alot less stressful to sing...i need to be drinking in order for me to sing in a bar full of people. anywho, we sang all night!!! they had alot of choices and obviously alot of chinese songs. i sang madonna and whitney houston and other songs but my favorite song that i sang last night was "total eclipse of the heart"....i love that song!!!! "once upon a time i was falling in love and now i'm only falling apart, nothing i can do, a total of eclipse of the heart" I LOVE IT!!!! anywho, Mr. HK really surprised me!!! he sang some english songs but the ones that got to me were the chinese songs he sang. I had no idea what he was singing about but the way he sang got me all emotional. He has the most beautiful voice and he sang with such emotion...i was very very impressed mostly because when he is around people he is super shy and doesn't really say much. He's not shy with me though but i still didn't expect him to sing sooooo beautifully!!

I had fun last night...AND i want to go back for some more chinese kereoke!!! anyone care to join me?!?!?

no answer...

This morning I woke up and went upstairs to my sister's. She wasn't there...her apartment was empty. I noticed that the flowers in the kitchen table were dead so I decided to throw them out but then I realized that the trash can had no bag so I went to the pantry to get a bag. As I was putting the bag on the trash can I realized how EMPTY my sister's home felt. I looked at where my brother-in-law sat all the time and I started to cry. I walked over to get the dead flowers to throw them away. As I poured the water down the sink, I had to grab the sink because at this point I was sobbing uncontrollably. I walked towards the dining room and the image of my brother- in -law with the oxygen tank sitting at the end of the table came to mind. I sat at the other end crying asking him "why did you have to leave us so soon? why?!?!?!" no answer...I got up and walked to the living room to open the shades so that some light could come in but only got as far as the chair next to the living room door. I sat there crying and the image of my brother-in-law lying down on the couch with the oxygen tank next to him came to mind. I asked him once again "why did you have to leave us soon? why?!?!?" no answer...

I started thinking about all the things that he will be missing out on...he already missed out on seeing my nephew Rocker graduate high school. Rocker will be going to UIC and he tells me he is scared...I can hear my brother-in-law telling Rocker "mi'jo usted no tengo miedo, usted hechele ganas y si no la hace pues si quiera el intento hizo". He was so good to his kids, so good to my sister. Why did have to leave us so soon?...

i quit!!!!

yes my dear bloggers i quit my job at the unemployment office!!!! i just couldn't take it. i didn't like my co-workers and it was getting to the point where i dreaded to get up in the morning to go to work. i would get this really weird headache once i got to work...it just wasn't good. Anywho, my last day is this coming Thursday.

I'll be starting my new job in July. I'll be working at Mt. Sinai Hospital and the Juvenile Court. My population will be 10-18 year old kids that have been arrested for minor offenses. We'll see how that goes...I'll be making my own schedule so that's a big plus for me!!! i won't be in the office all day because I'll be making home visits and visiting the kids' schools. my new boss seems to be cool and am looking forward to working with her. we'll see how it goes.

so lets see what else is going on? so Mr. Colombian and I don't talk anymore...i guess i was too far for him to visit so he decided just to stop talking all together. okay so this is what really happened...apparently he didn't like me hanging out with Mr. Rico Suave because he thinks that Mr. Rico Suave is a bad influence so he told me "either you stop hanging out with him or stop hanging out with me" what?!?!? oh hell no!!! you just didn't ask me that!??!??! so can you guess who i chose? yes i stuck with Mr. Rico Suave...so he's a little mess up, okay alot messed up, but he is also a friend who wouldn't make me choose between him and another person!!! so anywho, Mr. Colombian and i don't talk anymore. do i miss him? not really.

i am totally loving living in The Village!!! I've gain so much weight though...its all this good food my sister cooks!!! she is an awesome cook!!! but i need to stop eating it because I've gain weight like there is no tomorrow!! according to Santis the weight looks good on me...thanks dude but when I'm trying to fit in last summer clothes i get a bit depressed. MUST LOOSE WEIGHT!!!

ooooohhh, i went to Maxwell Street today!!!! i haven't been there in ages!!! i had soooo much fun!!! i had forgotten all the goodies you can find there!!! it's not like the old days but none the less i still enjoyed myself. Maxwell Street is a flea market, by the way.

i also found out when my parents will be coming back from Mexico!!! July 24th!!!! two days after my birthday!!! yay!!! i miss my parents, especially my mommy! yes i said mommy!!! do you have a problem with that?!!???! that's what i thought!!

I'm already starting preparations for my birthday/housewarming party...it won't be until august 11th but it doesn't hurt to start now. i'm soooo excited!!!

well my dear bloggers that is it for now...laters alligators

hello there...

well it's my third week at work. i have come to the conclusion that i'm going to have a difficult time with my co-workers!!! i HATE their attitudes towards the clients!!!! last week i was really upset because clients walk in the office nervous, scared, and anxious...who wouldn't be?!?!! i mean you are unemployed for crying out loud, some of these people don't know how or when they will be able to pay the bills...and then to have these people, my co-workers, intimidate them!!!! that really pissed me off!!!! i left the office close to tears because i was soooo angry!!! i wanted to tell my co-workers off but i can't do that...at least not yet. i want to learn more before i start opening my mouth!! i dont want these people telling me "your new!!! you don't know shit so shut up!!" and trust me they WOULD say something like that but the day they do they will really know who Sonrisa is!!! motha fuckers!!!!! ggrrrr!!! it just makes me sooo angry!!! i swear i will advocate for my peeps for as long as i can!!! the co-workers have no right treating them the way they do!!!! when will some people understand that just because you are behind the desk does not make you any better then anyone!!!! aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!

well on to much nicer things. i had a very lovely weekend!!! i went out to dinner with some friends here at the village on saturday and on sunday la familia and i had a cookout. i LOVE cookouts!!! good times!!

i went to springfield on wednesday through friday to attend a training. let me tell you that springfield is boring!!!!! damn!! there's nothing to do over there!!!! i was bored out of my mind!! i can't really complain though because everything was paid for. however, i have decided that next time i will take a friend!!! damn that place was boring!!!

when i returned from springfield i came home to a very lonely kachito. i hugged him and kissed him and told him how much i missed him. i thought all was well until my friends came over on saturday evening. kachito is back to his old self!!! he started hissing and trying to scratch them!!! he wasn't doing that anymore when we first moved to the new apartment...he was being super freindly up until saturday. what's going on?!?!? is it because i left him for three days!??!?! somebody explain to me why kachito is aggressive again!!! he is super nice when we are alone though. it's just when people come to my apartment. he even hissed at my niece!!! he hadn't done that since we moved here...haaay, don't know what to think anymore. none the less i love kachito no matter what mood he is in!!

mmmm pizza!!!!!

so i just had the best pizza ever!!! yes my chicagoan bloggers i just had homerun inn pizza!!!!!! the best pizza ever!!! one of the many perks of living in the village.

so lets see what's going on with my life...hmmmm? oh yeah have i mentioned i move to the village!!! my sister tells me that i'm happy and excited for now but once summer comes things will change for me. "loud music every where you go, eloteros every 5 minutes, las campanitas de los paleteros every 5 minutes...it's all going to get on your nerves and it's going to make you run back to the northside" i don't think so. i'm embracing la villita!!! haaay ya parece que naci en el northside...hehehehhe.

i'm super excited about starting my new job. i'm so ready to have a stable schedule!!! 9-5:00 schedule here i come. i'm sure i'll be complaining about my new job soon but for the time being let me enjoy :-)

i miss my colombiano friend!!! he is super busy with school...he is taking 5 classes and apparently they all turned out to be more difficult then he thought. he calls me everyday though...which i find a little odd but none the less makes me happy. hmmm? am i starting to like mr. colombian???! noooooo!!!! i am in love with mr. motorcycle and if all goes to plan, him and i should be a couple by this summer...mmmwuhhahahhahaha. yes!!! i've decided that i have waited long enough therefore i will make my move this summer....okay i must be high on the pizza because there is nooooo way i'm making anything happen with mr. motorcycle.

anywho, things are well at this end. hope all is well with you...

back to the village!!!

well i moved back to little village!!!! yay!!! it is sooooo much sooner then i had origanilly planned but it all worked out. i was in sooooo much pain on monday from the move. my place is coming along.

mr. colombian is sad that i left but hey if he really wants to see me he can come over anytime. rico suave is also sad that i "left him". i'm a bit confused as to how i feel about the move...i'm sooo much closer to my family...a good thing but can also be a bad thing. for the most part i'm happy.

kachis? holy crap!!! he was going crazy on sunday night but by monday he was super chilled. he's even friendly to people who come to visit me!!! he totally is loving the new place.

mr. motorcycle is super happy as well. he has called me all this week to "see what i'm doing". he helped me out on monday with some picture frames. he took me to home depot to get some stuff i needed for my new place, "you just let me know when you need to go again" is what he told me.

i must admit that i miss the north side...there are no borders bookstores over here!!!! somebody's gotta work on that!!! ehehehhehee. i crack myself up!!

laters....

where to start?....

well i have been hired at the unemployment office in Pilsen!!!! YAY!!!! for me!! i will be officially working for the government starting April 16th!!! i will also be moving back to the village in july. i will be having my b-day/housewarming party then. you are all invited!!! dc you must come over with morena, cincy bring your favorite book and we'll read it together ;-), Todd i await your arrrival as well!!! enemy of the republic come visit your old home, and coco bring along your husband and doggies during summer break. the chicagoan bloggers have no excuse for not showing up!!! i know it's still a few months away but i'm sooo excited. i haven't been this excited and happy for a while.

lets see what else...oh yeah. some things never change. this past weekend i went to a gay bar...i haven't been to a gay bar in like forever!! anyway, i stopped going about two years ago so i figured things might be different. nope!! things haven't changed. there was still the creepy "straight" guy floating around looking for the fag hags. this guy just creeped me out. i use to see him ALL the time at all this different gay bars in boys town. he tried talking to me a few times 'till he figured out i was on to him. i ALWAYS saw him leaving with a poor drunk girl once the bar was closing. i just think that's kind of pathetic...guy going to gay bars looking for girls. hmmm? but if it's been working for him power to him...i guess.

hmmm? oh yeah, mr. colombian, whom by the way is NOT my boyfriend, keeps insisting on moving in with me once i move to the village. "HELL!!! NOOO!", is what i told him. "but it's a three bedroom apartment!! what will you be doing with a three bedroom apartment?" "one room will be my bedroom, the other will be kachito's bedroom, and i'm using the third as my walk in closet" i told him. he gave me his "whoooot?!?!!? what do you mean the cat is going to have his own room!??" THE CAT WILL HAVE HIS OWN ROOM!!!! HELLO?!?!? WHICH PART OF THAT DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND!!! he said that i still have a few more months to change my mind but really i don't want a roommate. i'm used to living by myself, yes sometimes i get lonely but most of the time i like being alone. we'll see what happens. i will most definetly keep you informed.

laters for now

on the bus ride to work or home...

why do people have this need to tell me their problems while i'm on the bus!! sometimes i dont really mind. i've met really nice people...mostly older ladies. they tell me about their aches and pains and about their diets and about "how things were when they were younger". BUT than there are those annoying one's that just don't get the hint. i ignore them, take out my book to read, roll my eyes at them...yet they can't seem to get it!!! I don't want to hear about how much money you are sueing your "friend" because he did you wrong!!! I don't want to hear about how people just don't understand rap!!! or why Prince WAS a slave after all. Yes my dear friends these are the kind of conversations people strike up with me!!!! sometimes i'm just sooo tired that i just a peaceful ride back home. aaayyy, i gotta work on getting a car!!!

don't kids go to school anymore!??!

so this morning i went with my mom to get her mexican passport. everything was cool...now you have to make an appointment so the wait isn't that long, where as before you would have to get to the place at 6 in the morning in order for you get out at 2 in the afternoon, if you were that lucky!! anywho, while i was filling out the application for mom they asked for an emergency contact and that person's information. i decided to put my older sister's info but i couldn't remember her address so i call her at home. my little niece answers, "what the hell are you doing there??!?!?" i asked her as soon i heard her voice. "oh it's half a day at school" she tells me. "don't you kids ever go to school anymore!?!?!?" i ask. i reacted this way because on Monday i went to visit my sister and my niece opens the door. "are you sick? why aren't you at school?" i ask her. she tells me "it's pulaski's day" who the hell is pulaski?!!! why are we celebrating him!?!! this was monday!!! today is wednesday!!!! two days in one week!!!!! what the hell?!!? i think i've decided to send my kids to private schools!!!...that's if i do end up having kids.

nice weekend

i had a nice weekend.

Lets starts with thursday though... on thursday i got to hangout with hk and his partner. i hadn't seen them in a long time. Friday i hungout with chuckaroon. he came from st. louis. he brought a freind with...very sweet guy. we had dinner at the little mexican cafe. the food is awsome!!! they make the guacamole in a molacajete right in front of you!!! the food was great!! i also had strawberries with cajeta for dessert!! yummy yummy!! on saturday i hung out with the hola gang. we laughed all night!!! mostly just making fun of each other. we also went to krispy kreme in memory of tazman...it's been four years. we played cards...mr. policeman won all the money!!! we all think he was cheating but he swears he wasn't!!! whatever is what i have to say to that. on sunday i had dinner with my parents and my two sisters. we went to my favorite thia restaurant. my parents loved the food and i loved the coconut icecream!! damn i ate sooooo much this weekend.

i have to go see santis new baby this weekend!!! i saw some pictures already and the baby is sooooo cute!! looks nothing like santis...hehehehe just kidding dude, you know i love!!

talk to your laters peoples

i'm back!!!

well things seem to be going okay. i'm currently on the search for either a full-time or part-time job...damn i didn't think it was going to be this difficult!! okay i just started sending my resume to different places last week...i guess i must be patient.

i just finished talking to my second mom...i'm planning on moving back to the hood. why? because i want to be closer to my family. my sister/second mom seems to be holding on pretty good. i was talking to my niece last week and she told me that my sister cries at night and my niece tries to console her by telling her that my brother-in-law wouldn't like seeing her cry anymore. when my sister is with us though she seems okay...i guess we all have our moments and i know that this will take time.

my daddy is doing good too as well. he is getting surgery in march. it turns out they found something wrong with his spinal cord so they want to take care of it before it becomes to be a problem. my daddy and mom are going to back to mexico as soon as the surgery is over. they were supposed to go back at the end of this month but they decided to put the trip on hold until daddy's health gets better. i'm just glad that my dad is doing alot better.

mr. colombian is still around. have i mentioned that he said the "L" word? yes he told me he LOVED me!!!!! i totally freaked and asked if he was okay? anywho, things were a bit uncomfortable for a while there but they are back to normal again. the guy makes me laugh!!! he is such a dork!!!

Oh yeah, i almost forgot!!! my family was t.v.!!!! they were in the spanish version of Family Feud!!! it's called "que dice la gente?" it was soooo funny to watch!!! my dad recorded it so we are planning on getting together this weekend at the parents to watch it together. mr. motorcycle asked why i didn't participate and i told him because my spanish was not that good. the familia played at home to see who would go to the show and well i was first one out!!!

i have missed you bloggers!!! i saw most of you a few days ago, that totally made me smile. i do think about the ones i don't get see like cincy, todd, coco, dc, and cruel virgin. i want to thank all of you for sending good vibes down my way :-) thanks!!!

hasta laters!!!

i'm okay...

i'm hanging on in there. i've talked to a few bloggers and well i'll tell you what i've told them. at this point in my life i feel really lost!! don't know what to do. continue to question whether i want to keep on doing social services.

my daddy had a mini heart attack...he is doing alot better now...and let me tell you that it was a few scary days for me and my family. he is back at home being daddy again.

i continue to do my part-time gig as a research assistant.

i'm hanging on in there...like mr. colombian says "i have no choice but to hang on in there"

take care my fellow bloggers and i hope all is well in your worlds. i will try my bestest to me again...i hope its soon.

life...

has been challenging these past few weeks!!!

Friday, December 22 was my last day at my AIDS/HIV job. i'm really sad about leaving my job but happy leaving the agency...does this make sense? i'm going to miss my clients alot...especially my schizoprenic client. I actually cried as i was saying my goodbye to him..."who is going to check up on me, sonrisa? who am i going to talk to now? i don't think i want to continue coming to this agency if you're not here anymore?" yes i cried!!! i'm going to miss him the most.

i got a phone call from a doctor at Rush hospital because he was informed that i was a spanish speaking research assistant. this project will have me working with the latino individuals that are having heart problems. i hope i get this job!!! the doctor is supposed to call me this week to talk about my salary..."i hope i can afford you" he says. DAMN!!! at this point i'll take anything...okay, not anything. i have been seriously thinking about not doing social work anymore. i'm tired. i'm....i want to focus on me!!! it's time i start focusing on me. not that i haven't but i've just been feeling lost ever since my brother-in-law died. he was only 42 years old!!!! he was young!!! he was a great person who loved my sister and his children alot!!! he didn't drink, he didn't smoke...i'm just so angry!!!! he was soooo young!!!

the night he died, my younger sister called me to let me know that he wanted to see me. i was working at Rush that evening and practically ran to Stoger's Hospital. i was crying all the way to the hospital because even though dork hadn't mentioned anything about him dying i just knew he was leaving us that night. when i got to Stroger's, dork was waiting for me downstairs. i looked at her and hugged her. i cried uncontrollably as dork told me "the doctors said he only has a couple of more hours". as i took the elevator upstairs i tried to calm myself down but as soon as i saw him i lost it again. one hour later he was gone. there are so many things i want to forget about that night...him being in so much pain, me asking my frida to take him because i couldn't stand him being in pain!!! my sister crying asking him not to leave her. i want to forget so many things about that night!!!

my sister, my second mom...what can i say about her. i can't even imagine what she is going through right now. it's christmas eve and we are all supposed to be happy...but we are not. my second mom is the most amazing woman...aside from my mommy...ever.

today as i got off the bus, i started walking towards her house and i kept telling myself "you're not going cry!!! you have to be strong for her!!! you're not going to cry!!" but i couldn't. i walked in the house and saw her cooking some taquitos, i hugged her and went to the living room to cry by myself. she later came in and tells me "sonrisa, ya no llores que todo va estar bien"

he was only 42 years old damn it!!!!!

my brother-in-law is no longer with us. he died on December 12, 2006 at 9:40 p.m.

update..

well, i have quit my job!!!! the AIDS/HIV jobs. i'm still at my part-time job though. i'm nervous as hell because i don't hava another job lined up but we'll see how it goes. too much going on that i decided i had enough yesterday so i gave my resignation this morning!!! ooooh my Frida, what am i doing? i'm soooooo going to miss my clients!!! don't know what the next chapter will be about but i will keep you posted.

my daddy is doing waaaay better. my brother-in-law is not. he is still in the hospital and will most likely be for christmas :-(

mr. colombian is still around. i truly am glad that i decided to keep him around. he has been such a great friend. we've become soooo close these past few weeks. he keeps reminding me not too forget "what a strong woman" i am. it's difficult at times to be strong though.

anywho, have a good weekend bloggers.

i want it to be like it was...

well this thanksgiving sucked and i think things will continue to suck for a while..ours thanksgiving was not at all festive.

my daddy was in the hospital. he had his gall bladder removed and had to spend extra days in the hospital for precautinary reasons due to his age. it got really scared. my dad and i have not had the greatest relationship however lately it's been getting alot better. we actually hug and i kiss him good bye whereas before we couldn't be in the same room without us getting into an arguement. when i went to go see him in the hospital we both started crying. the surgery wasn't that serious but to see my daddy in the hospital bed scared me!!! i've known for a while that he is not the strong scary man he once was. he looked old and scared to me in that bed. it just made think about too much!!

that same week my brother in law went back to the hospital. it's not looking too good for him. we had post poned our thanksgiving dinner for this saturday but my mom doesn't feel too comfortable having it with my brother in law in such bad shape...he needs a heart transplant SOON!!!. i already hated these holidays, this is just make it worse. i'm trying really hard to keep strong...since i'm the freakin' social worker i keep being asked to talk to the family. it keeps getting harder though because i can't tell them that "things will be okay" when i know they won't be okay and they won't be okay for a while. i just want things to be the way they use to be.

other than that things are okay with me. i've been really depressed but that's normal and i know it will pass. mr. colombian has been awsome. he continues to be a jerk though but he has been good to me latetly...frienshipwise. he makes me laugh when i most need it. i'm still working my two jobs. i need to start my christmas shopping...it will be very short list this year. i'm not really sure if there will be a christmas for us...

kachito is still being a punk to other people but he loves me and that's all that matters to me!!!

have a good weekend my fellow bloggers and please take care of yourselves...

HAPPY THANKSGIVING....

JUST WANTED TO WISH YOU ALL A HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!

MAY WARM THOUGHTS AND BEST WISHES ALWAYS BE WITH YOU!!!

i'm tired...

going crazy!!

i'm am going crazy with these two jobs!! i love doing what i'm doing but really i leave my apartment at 8:50 a.m. and don't get home until 10-ish!!!! well at least i can work from home too!! that really does make a huuuge difference. i need some rest though. i feel like i haven't gotten enough sleep in like forever!! i'm also exhausted because i have been helping my sister with my brother in law!!! that is driving me insane as well. it is soooo difficult. i have been trying to get a nurse to go to my brother in laws but because he speaks no english it has become a challenge!!! i'm tired, sleepy and exhausted.

i'm going to help mr. motorcycle with his paper tonight which means i probably will not get home 'til 1-ish. i shouldn't really complain because i'm doing this to myself. i could just tell mr. motorcylce that he needs to find someone else to help him out but i'm choosing not to do that.

oh yeah, things with the colombian are pretty wierd. have i mentioned that i had dinner with his parents!!! yes i met the parents!!! we still see each other every day or if we don't see each other we talk on the phone. it really is wierd but such is life!! he keeps me entertained.

gotta go!!

it's friday...

well so far i've been having a good day. i went to kohl's during my lunch hour and bought myself a purse for 6 buckaroos!!! from 38 dollars it went down to 6!!! that totally made my day!!

anywho, i don't have any plans for this weekend. i work tomorrow and then i plan to go home and chill!! i need some "me time"!!!

update on mr. colombian. we are talking again. he kept calling me and i kept avoiding his phone calls. i finally called him back and he kept apologizing...blah blah blah. i must say that the incident changed the entire relationship... i can't help but laugh at this because "hell!! it better have!!". i do enjoy his company and he does make me laugh... so we won't be romantically involved, nothing wrong with that.

have a good weekend my fellow bloggers

dinner with the santis man....

so last night i hung out with santis. we went to a local bar and had bar food...i totally love bar food!!! we ate like there was no tomorrow!!! well at least i did. we had a few beers...awww yes good times good times. afterwards he took me shopping...i need to somewhat dress up for my new job. i have no dress up clothes!!! all i own are jeans...really does a person need anything else? any way, it was somewhat depressing for me because i realized that i'm no longer the size i thought i was!!! what?!?! que?!?!? como?!?! i'm a much larger size!!!! what?!??! que?!?!? como?!?!? i was really depressed...okay no i wasn't..hehehehe. i'm actually okay with it but i MUST do something about it!!!! i have decided to go on a diet!!!! salads and water for me from now on...starting after the holidays..heheheheh